T̶w̶o̶ One p̶e̶r̶p̶e̶t̶u̶a̶l̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶a̶t̶s̶ immigrant settling into home country number five.
Well this was an unexpected turn of events, wasn’t it? There are so many things I want to say to you all right now. I want to tell you that however you’re feeling is fine, and lots of other people are probably feeling that exact same way, too. Everyone is struggling to focus. Everyone has … Read more
It’s one of those things you always hear: loss is hardest around the holidays. I can already feel the approach, weaving its way around me like a boa constrictor, ready to start tightening its grip without warning. Do I make an attempt to flee, or will any movement simply trigger it into action? Last Thanksgiving, … Read more
Scott died over six months ago now. How have I survived this long? I’m OK most of the time, except when I’m not. The permanency of his death has started to settle in, making me feel as if I’m trapped in a fish tank, unable to breathe. Except I am able to breathe, somehow. It’s … Read more
One of this year’s themes at the Edinburgh International Book Festival is ‘Reading the Final Chapter‘, a collection of events centered around death. This feels very well-timed for me, as much of my recent reading (and writing) has been on this topic. I appreciate the open and frank discussions that are being held. Death and … Read more
Thirteen years ago today, Scott and I got married. We had two weddings (the second one was in Italy a year and a half later), and enjoyed the excuse to celebrate our marriage twice a year on anniversaries. It makes me happy to know we crammed in some extra celebrating while we could. I watched … Read more
Scott was allergic to cats. It is a testament to my love for him that I was willing to forgo having a cat in order to have him all those years. The plan was for us to get a kitten after he had his new immune system installed (stem cell transplant recipients often see their … Read more
Scott died in April. Last November we headed to Glasgow for the stem cell transplant that was supposed to cure his relapsed leukemia. I rented a little flat near the hospital so I could be close by. The first month or so went well. Then the complications and side-effects kicked in, nothing terribly serious at … Read more