In order to preempt what would surely become FAQs, there are two things I will make clear at the outset of this post:
- There really is a place called Dollywood.
- I really did go there. Jealous yet?
You may share your boob jokes in the comments.
—-
There is a special little part of the Great Smoky Mountains where the peanuts are boiled, the t-shirts are air-brushed, and the museums are upside-down. There is so much to see and do in this little pocket of heaven, but the ultimate little piece of kitschy goodness had eluded me until now. Dollywood is a theme park dedicated to thrill rides, folksy crafts, music, and the glorification of God for putting Dolly Parton on this earth. Kettle corn, too.
We had the good fortune of visiting during the ‘Festival of Nations.’ Given the homogeneity of the park guests, it was nice to see a little diversity. Check out this charming young Italian lad:
In addition to the regular park performers such as the Kingdom Heirs (presumptuous much?), the Festival of Nations involves performances from groups from all around the world. We sat down for an acappela show. After a promising first number, one of the young African men on stage started talking about how his life was changed when Christian missionaries came to his little village and shared the love of Jesus with them. We left to go find something that would calm our twisting stomachs, such as a roller coaster. Luckily there were lots of those.
Many of the rides have ‘example cars’ outside the entrance, which larger guests are encouraged to try out for size.
The guided tour of Dolly Parton’s tour bus was led by her number one fan, a local lady who could not say enough wonderful things about the star. As we left the bus she called out that we should be sure to find lunch in one of the park’s many restaurants. “Everything’s been baptized in grease and is absolutely scrumptious!”
I do have one bone to pick with Dolly. The museum in the park – the one covering Dolly’s life journey from poor country girl to international singing superstar? It’s called Chasing Rainbows. Dammit, that’s what I was going to call my museum. She stole my name. Now where will I put my collection of amply-bosomed sequined dresses?
—-
What will the museum that showcases your life story be called?
I expected to see more pink. A lot more frills. 🙂
@Terry – Alas, I failed to get photos of Dolly’s Closet, the shop right across from the museum. That’s where the frills were.
Fantastic review. So much to read between the lines. I assume you didn’t order that chicken fried steak?
Graham Norton, in his autobiography “So Me”, describes what it was like to be at Dollywood on 9/11. He was there that day filming stuff for his television show (he’s a British comedian, absolutely fabulous and very gay) and talks about his experiences going to dinner at Dollywood that night. He makes some wonderful comments about the dinner which I would quote here, but my copy of the book is in storage until after I move.
In the mean time, “We left to go find something that would calm our twisting stomachs, such as a roller coaster,” had me snorting out loud.
Thanks for the laugh!
@Lara – I believe that was my husband’s chicken fried steak. He went in for the whole Southern experience. My veggie burger, while less traditional, was no less deep fried.
@Adam – That combo (Dollywood, Graham Norton, 9/11) sounds train-wreckingly awesome. Must read.
And glad I could give you a chuckle.
I think my museum will have to be called “Baptized in Grease.” It’s going to require a major lifestyle change, but it’ll be worth it.
I love kitschy/weird America/off the beaten path places!
I can imagine in that part of the country they would need sample fat cars for the rides!
@Mark R – I love it. So many layers of meaning in that one.
@Kristin – Me, too. I can’t believe it took me so long to get to this particular kitsch mecca. Highly recommended.
Alas, we did not get to see Dollywood when we were in that area of TN (Mr Realist is not a country fan. At. All.)
And the food pic? AAAAAHHHHH – looks soooo good!
Happy ICLW!
first, picturing you in sequined dresses. second, suggestion: perhaps you ought to out whimsy dolly and go with chasing rainbows and unicorns. or out hometown charm her with chasing rainbows and whiskey shots. a gerund of some sort is definitely in order.
Goodness, I left out a highlight: while waiting in line for one of the roller coasters, a kid called me “ma’am.”
@Ms Dreamer – Thanks for stopping by. 🙂 I expected more music in general – being forced to listen to Jolene on a loop while waiting for a ride, that kind of thing – but luckily they didn’t go for the overkill.
@Em – I’m thinking of sewing sequins all over my dirndl for a new Oktoberfest look this year. And I shall ponder appropriate gerunds during my afternoon painting session today.
Oh dear….I’m actually not too sure wht to say LOL sounds AND looks very interesting tho!
ICLW
#41
That chicken friend steak looks just like what I ate in my wholesome, Kansas, gradeschool cafeteria.
And, I’m always chasing rainbows. And watching clouds drift by.
You shared about this so well. I’m sold! And that ride sign. . . Wow! Topping off a visit to a friend who moved to TN recently, as well as a must-do visit to Graceland, this will top my future visit off nicely. And I really need to check out Graham Norton’s autobiography!
@AK – Wholesome, yes. Nothing says wholesome like chicken frying something.
@A Touch of Dutch – Unfortunately Dollywood and Graceland are on opposite ends of the state – probably 5 or 6 hours apart by car. But certainly both are worth a visit for those who love kitsch.
@Rach – it was definitely interesting.
It may be the pregnancy talking, but that food looks AWESOME right now (it is also 2:00 AM right now just to put that in more perspective).
@Tammy – LOL. I hear pregnancy does make crazy foods sound enticing…
why were you there? why would anyone want to go there? and i am from the south. we lived three years in tennessee and managed to avoid that whole section of the state….
it’s las vegas without the gambling – facades, bright lights and fake tits….
@Deborah – because I was in Tennessee, and I love kitsch. I had to try it once.