The Oktoberfest answers you’ve been searching for

As is to be expected, this week I’ve had an explosion of hits from people googling their last-minute Oktoberfest queries and questions. Why don’t we take a stab at helping out these folks, shall we?

oktoberfest reservations
A little late for that, buddy.

cheap dirndls
Try Ebay.

oktoberfest munich first time advice
You’re in luck, I wrote a whole post about that.

is there sex at oktoberfest?
Hmm. Probably?

oktoberfest regensburg 2009
You’re close, but actually it’s in Munich.

where to buy lederhosen in munich
These days you can buy them all over the city, but I’d recommend heading out to the Loden Frey outlet store or the giant Wies’n Tracht & Mehr on Hanaurstraße. Both are near the Olympia-Einkaufszentrum U-bahn stop.

oktoberfest reservations tents
Yes, Oktoberfest reservations are in tents.

oktoberfest munich without a reservation tent
No problem. See my tips.

oktoberfest sex stories
Well, there was this one time… not. Perhaps Penthouse should put out a special Oktoberfest issue. Or feel free to leave your own story in the comments.

oktoberfest pictures with lederhosen
Here’s one of my favorite Oktoberfest lederhosen pics, taken at an after-hours party across the street from the Wiesn.

oktoberfest peeing
There’s no peeing at Oktoberfest. You just have to hold it in. OK, I guess you could use one of these.

how to get a last minute beer tent reservation oktoberfest
Call or go by the tents’ offices. Check the tents’ websites (Oktoberfest.de has convenient links to all of them) to find out where the offices are and how/when you can reach them. But don’t get your hopes up too much – it’s probably not worth the effort.

training for oktoberfest drinking
The jury is out on how to best go about this.

oktoberfest signs
Signs that it is Oktoberfest: 1) more drunken lederhosen-clad hordes on the U-bahn than usual; 2) puke at your tram stop.

oktoberfest waitresses
…have mad beer-carrying skillz. And are usually grumpy. But you would be too.

nudity oktoberfest
Yes, there is nudity at Oktoberfest, most of which is of the unfortunate, pale British variety.

what are the waitresses called at the oktoberfest
Hmmm. Any ideas?

expat dirndl oktoberfest
They let us wear the same dirndls as the locals, actually. Here’s mine. It’s the tourists who have to wear the funny ones.

drink as much as you want 10 euro munich
You can totally do that at Oktoberfest. I mean, assuming you only want a liter. That’s enough for anyone, right?

preparation for oktoberfest drink water
Nah, then you’ll just have to stand in that godawful bathroom line even more often. Instead, prepare by 1) going out and buying some tracht and 2) getting a lot of cash out of your bank account.

Tomorrow’s the day…