Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Looking for a good time? Try booking a 4-country, 10-flight, 15-city trip using 500 different airlines and a million different travel websites. Around the holidays.

I need a personal assistant.

Update #1: OMG! For the first time in about 10 years of trying, American Airlines frequent flier miles have proven useful. Direct flights and everything! (As opposed to the usual “sure you can use 200,000 miles each to get from Zurich to New York, but you’ll have to spend the night in Dallas and have another 68-hour layover in Nome, Alaska, where we will require you to gnaw off your left big toe before you are allowed to board your final flight segment.”)

Update #2: Orbitz.com, you are on notice. Returning search results with cheap fares and then conveniently updating them to almost TWICE THE PRICE when we click “purchase.” Hang your head in shame.